Our precious little baby

I wanted to give everyone an update who has heard that I was pregnant, or heard about our loss.

I was in my third month of pregnancy (11 weeks) when I started spotting. We went to the ER last Sunday (11/4) and they did a bunch of tests. When they did the ultrasound we couldn't see the baby. At first the technician who did the ultrasound just thought I wasn't as far along as we were told I was. I was sent back to the ER until they were able to sort things out. My midwife ended up being the one on call and she came in and gently told us that our little baby had died two weeks before. We were so shocked to hear this as we didn't know there was anything wrong with him. I never imagined anything like this would ever happen.

While we don't understand why certain things happen, I know he is up in heaven waiting for us. (We feel in our hearts that it was a boy). My husband keeps reminding me that God sees the whole picture and He is sovereign.

I've had quite a rough week and a half. Thank you to everyone that knew and prayed for us, called, e-mailed, stopped by or made us meals. It's been helping us to get through. I've had no energy and am still exhausted from everything I've been going through physically and emotionally. Even little things remind me of the baby and make me cry. We had so many plans and dreams for this baby. He was wanted and loved and is already missed. My parents are having a hard time as I am their only child and this is their first grand baby. My grandmother took the news hard also. She cried a lot and is sad. We will be able to try to have more children in the future, but we are grieving this one. We will never be able to have this baby again..

I guess I never understood what someone went through when they had a miscarriage... physically and emotionally. I ended up going through the labor pains to pass everything naturally instead of having a D and E (Dial ate and Evacuate). I've been on bedrest, so I haven't been on the computer much. My midwife took me out of work this week and last week. I transferred some work to my laptop so I can try to catch up a little when I have the energy. My mother has been of such great help. She has been here every day and stayed up with me all night last Monday into Tuesday. She's been waiting on me hand and foot and even cleaned my house for me! My husband has also been a great source of comfort and has been taking care of me also while he too is grieving.

Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. I always thought it was strange when I heard someone say they felt the prayers.. but now I know what they mean. I've had a lot of peace and am feeling God's grace. I know that everyone's prayers are carrying us through.

Tracie

P.S. Once I am feeling better and get caught up with editing, I'll post more weddings and portraits from July-Oct.